


Dreams

by darkdragonwriter (Ziven)



Category: Wolf's Rain
Genre: M/M, Nightmares suck, Oh man it's a songfic, Shifting faces
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-01-10
Updated: 2005-01-10
Packaged: 2018-04-30 22:38:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5182265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ziven/pseuds/darkdragonwriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tsume has a dream, and it leads him to something precious. -Tsume x Toboe-</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> This is super old, and I'm only really uploading it for archiving purposes. Read at your own risk.

Tsume was running wildly through the forest; one that he and the others had entered only the day before. His body was overwhelmed with a feeling he wasn't familiar with—fear. _What the hell am I running from?_ He asked himself. He commanded his body to halt, but of course it wouldn't listen. He kept running. _What the hell is going on? Where are the others?_ He tried again and again to make himself stop unsuccessfully. It was as if his body knew of something his mind did not. He ran through the forest, dodging trees, bushes, and other animals, always headed in the same direction. And still the entire time, it was like someone had possessed his body, unwilling to surrender him, despite Tsume's internal curses of protest.

Suddenly, he came to the edge of a cliff. His body skidded to a halt, rocks flying into the dark chasm below. At that exact moment Tsume regained possession of his body, turning to see what had made him, Tsume, actually _run in fear._ To his surprise, when he turned he did not see a forest behind him but a blue sky diluted with large specks of gray. He sniffed. Smoke. He sniffed again and allowed himself to decipher the smells. Dust, metal, cloth. Humans were here. His nose sniffed again. Hotdogs, food; the scent of wolves, and the very faint smell of Lunar Flowers. Cheza. He was in the city, no doubt. Dome city. But everyone knew that Cheza was gone; had been for a while, and her scent had never been strong, even when she had been there. So why did it linger? Why was he even—

His senses suddenly filled with fear. But not his own. Someone else was extremely scared. The strength was associated of someone afraid of dying.

"Tsume! Tsume help me!" he heard from below. Tsume looked down and leapt back immediately. Ghel was hanging from the ledge, the same ledge that he had fallen from when he—

"I can't!" Tsume shouted. This had a to be a nightmare. A horrible, horrible nightmare…

"Please! I'm sorry Tsume! Please! Please help me!"

"I—" Tsume sighed. He considered it. But if Ghel found out that he was a wolf…well, when Leara found out about Toboe…

Something ran past him on the long metal pipe on which he stood. They pushed him, and Tsume fell near Ghel, grabbing his old comrade for support. "Tsume! Thank you, thank you…" the young one cried, but his look of happiness slowly turned to horror as he realized that he was being _bitten,_ not grabbed.

"I'm sorry," Tsume said. "I'm sorry that I've been keeping this from you." But unlike that idiot Toboe, he didn't allow his wolf form to be seen. He just held on, determined not to let go, not like last time. This time, he would make it right. He wouldn't have to go with Kiba and his losers; he would stay with his gang. A small voice spoke within him. _But what about Toboe…?_ He drowned it out. "Hang on, Ghel." He said.

He craned his neck to see how much room he had to pull Ghel up. Not much. But to his utter and complete surprise, when he looked back down, he wasn't holding Ghel. Instead it was Toboe being grasped between his teeth. _What in the hell…?_ "Tsume!" the young wolf cried. "Don't let go, please!"

A strange feeling, so unlike fear, gripped Tsume's heart. He felt compelled to lift Toboe up with all of his strength. "I won't…" he answered. _I wouldn't let go for my life,_ he finished in his thoughts. He didn't want to let go, and he knew—even though he didn't want to realize it—that he would rather fall than do so. He heaved and pulled, and finally managed to get Toboe up on the ledge, only to hear barking. He sniffed. "Dammit," he muttered. "It's that bitch."

"What?" Toboe said, confused.

The barking sounds seemed closer. Blue was nearing them. _Wait, didn't Blue leave Quent?_ "Let's go." Tsume said gruffly to Toboe, and they both ran, Toboe behind. They ran through buildings, fire escapes, hoping to fool Blue and get to the ground. Despite it all, she began to catch up. _What the fuck? I am not being caught by someone who shouldn't be chasing me in the first place!_ He ran faster, putting distance between him, and Blue—and not to mention himself and Toboe. He jumped up onto a nearby rooftop using a series of trash bins and ledges, hoping that Toboe get the drift and follow. He stood there, waiting.

"Tsume!" he heard Toboe's voice cry out, and he immediately fell down to the earth without hesitation. What was wrong with him? He could've been falling into a trap. It was then that Tsume's senses took in the situation. Blue had caught Toboe, tactfully biting into Toboe's right arm, already partially injured because Tsume'd had to bite the young wolf to pull him up. Tsume could even see the blood soaking the young wolf's clothing.

Tsume filled with rage at the sight, and lunged at Blue, knocking her at least seven feet from Toboe. "Don't you ever," he growled, showing his true wolf form and no longer caring who saw it, "don't you ever touch Toboe." He barred his teeth, still not fully processing his own reaction.

BAM!

He heard a gunshot, and turned around. He saw the bullet hit Toboe, with in the chest, below his heart. "Tsume!" the young wolf cried out. "Run! Please!" The pleas were lost on Tsume. He ran straight to Quent, knocking Blue to the ground as though she were a toy. He pinned Quent to the ground, biting, scratching, doing any amount of damage that he could. Quent's gun had slipped from his grasp, and lay several feet away. Soon enough, Blue rose to her feet and leaped on Tsume, biting his neck from behind, but in his rage, Tsume ignored it easily, not even able to feel the pain; he was that upset. Quent had shot at Toboe; Quent had to die!

Finally, Blue summoned enough strength to pull Tsume off of Quent altogether, helping the old man—who was surprisingly alive, even after being mauled by Tsume—to his feet. Tsume quickly ran to Toboe's side, but not before picking up Quent's gun and taking it with him. Toboe was still alive and he would waste no more time on the old man. Quent, leaning heavily onto Blue and bleeding from several wounds, laughed as he watched Toboe being helped into a laying position by Tsume. Blue growled, but he patted her head. "Easy there, Blue, hehe. Leave 'em. The young one's dead anyway." Tsume snapped at the both of them, and he barred his teeth protectively until they were out of sight. You never knew with Quent. His drunkenness made him the most unpredictable of enemies. Soon, he turned back to Toboe, who barely had his eyes open.

"Toboe," Tsume said firmly. Toboe blinked, but said nothing. "Toboe." Tsume said louder, pulling the younger wolf's ear. Too exhausted to keep his human appearance, Toboe appeared as he was, the beautiful wolf with auburn fur—fur now flecked with blood from his wounds.

Toboe whined in pain. "Tsume…?" he said in his innocent voice, a voice that expressed his confusion.

"Toboe. Hang on. You'll make it," Tsume said, trying to convince himself the same, trying to ignore what his heart knew to be true. That Tsume couldn't help him, and Toboe would—

Toboe coughed, and Tsume focused his attention on the young pup. "Tsume," he said slowly, and it sounded as if it pained him just to speak, "I'm sorry. I couldn't keep up with you."

Something landed on Tsume's head, and he looked up. _Oh, great,_ he thought dryly, _rain._ After only a few seconds, the rain had cloaked the entire area. "Toboe…" Tsume said hesitantly. "Can you move?"

Toboe looked at him sadly, his fur slick from the rain, and shook his head. Tsume then tried to pry the bullet from Toboe's chest, but to no avail. Every time he touched Toboe's wound, the young pup would cry out. So he stayed there, at Toboe's side, telling the young one that he would live. Hours later, Toboe attempted to sit up, but failed. "Just lay there, Toboe," Tsume said. Toboe shook his head.

"I—I have to sit up."

"No, you don't; just lay there."

Toboe shook his head, and continued to struggle into a sitting position. After watching him for a while, Tsume finally gave in to helping him. "Wait," Toboe said, and closed his eyes, furrowing his brow. And suddenly, his human persona appeared, just as Tsume heard a rustling in the alley near them. As quick as a wink, his human appearance was able to be seen, too. They watched carefully as a dog made its way down the alley, sniffing in the garbage cans. It reminded Tsume of the young pup so much…

"Toboe?" Tsume asked, aware of the struggle that the young wolf was going through to remain human. "Are you alright?"

"Y-yes." Came his shaky response.

The dog's ears pricked. It looked through the rain, in the direction of the two wolves. As it sniffed, and caught their scent, it turned and ran, scattering rainwater in its wake. "Good riddance," Tsume muttered, finally helping Toboe into his lap. "Happy now, kid? What's the point of you sitting up anyway, runt? You've got to be still, or you won't heal."

"Toboe looked up, smiling sadly. "I want to see your face…before I die." He said.

Tsume said nothing, but looked away. "I know that I'll be gone by sunrise, Tsume. You don't have to lie to me. I can feel it. I can feel my body fading slowly. I wasn't you fault, Tsume, because I know that you'll be an idiot and beat yourself about it." _No,_ Tsume told himself, _this can't be happening._ He still said nothing. "Tsume, please look at me," Toboe said, and Tsume couldn't help but turn to meet the young pup's golden brown eyes with his own. "Tsume," the auburn haired wolf said softly, "Tsume, did anyone tell you that you have beautiful eyes?" Toboe smiled a bit more.

"No." Tsume said in bitter tones. It was the truth.

"Don't…get upset, Tsume. I love you eyes." Tsume noticed several stray strands of hair in Toboe's eyes, and concentrated n removing them. "Tsume?" Toboe was beginning to sound like his old annoying self again.

"What?"

"Tell me something, Tsume."

"What?"

"Tell me something, Tsume. Anything. I want to hear your voice."

"…"

"Please?"

Tsume groaned. He was such a sucker. "There's an annoying wolf sitting in my lap who won't leave me alone. How's that?"

"I…should've known…Tsume," the pup said. There were gasps of ragged breathing in his speech now. A lump formed in Tsume's throat. What the hell was it with him and emotions?

"Tsume?" Toboe's voice broke through his thoughts.

"Yes?"

"Do you want to hear something?"

"No. But you're gonna tell me anyway, right?"

"Not if… not if you really don't want to hear…it."

"I want to hear it." His voice said contrary, but Toboe didn't notice.

"Really…?"

"Yes."

"It's a song I made up when I was younger."

_Oh Lord,_ Tsume thought. "Fine," he said nonchalantly.

"Okay." Tsume snorted, but Toboe ignored him and began to sing.

" _How come..._

_I feel sorrow?_

_How come…_

_I feel pain?_

_How come…_

_There's no tomorrow for me?_

_How come…_

_I feel no relieving?_

" _Why…is it so cold?_

_And why… does the darkness keep me?_

_Crying every night_

_Why won't… the dawn come and wake me?_

" _How come…  
I feel so sad?_

_How come…_

_I'm so alone?_

_How come…_

_My heart aches all the time?_

_How come…_

_I feel like grieving?_

" _Why…is it so cold?_

_And why…am I so melancholy_

_Crying every night_

_Why won't…the dawn come and wake me?_

" _How come…_

_I'm not happy?_

_How come…_

_The light's run away?_

_How come…_

_All have forsaken me?_

_How come…_

_I'm trapped in my memories?_

" _Why…is it so cold?_

_And why…do my nightmares surround me?_

_Crying every night_

_Why won't…the dawn come and wake me?"_

There was silence after he finished the song, a silence that seemed to echo throughout the entire alley. The song had been so simple, yet rather profound…Tsume couldn't imagine what could've happened to Toboe for him to create that song. "Nice song," Tsume said, noting that Toboe's singing voice wasn't the worst thing he had ever heard. Hesitantly, he added, "Sing it…one more time."

And Toboe did. He sang the song as beautifully and at the same level of heartbrokenness that had the first time. Tsume decided to memorize the words as Toboe sang, as the words touched his heart (though he would never admit it). When Toboe finished the second time, they both sat in silence for a while, until the runt said, "Ironic, huh, Tsume? That this song fits perfectly with our situation?" he smiled sadly. Tsume looked at the ground. "Tsume?" Toboe said after a little while longer.

"What?" How many times had the runt called his name?

"I'm…really tired. I want to go to sleep," Toboe said.

Tsume's head jerked towards his companion. "No." Tsume said firmly. If Toboe closed his eyes for even half a second, he'd— "You can't go to sleep!"

"But, Tsume, I'm so tired…"

"No. You have to stay awake so that your body can recover."

"Tsume…whatever you may think, I…I know I'm going to die."

"No you won't," Tsume said coldly, almost as if he were commanding Toboe to live. "You won't die, not unless you want to. You can't…"

Tsume felt Toboe shift in his lap, laying his head against Tsume's chest. "Tsume…I want you to look at me." Tsume reluctantly looked down into Toboe's golden brown eyes, and he could see the young pup's tears. Why was he crying? "Tsume…" Toboe said softly. Their faces were inches apart, and Tsume could feel Toboe's breath; it was hard and ragged. "Tsume…" Toboe said again, reaching a hand up to stroke Tsume's cheek. Tsume watched Toboe, never taking his eyes from the young wolf's face. It felt…good having Toboe's hand caress his cheek.

Then, slowly, suddenly, but gracefully, Toboe raised his lips to meet Tsume's, kissing him softly, gently, lovingly. Toboe's lips were very soft, but they were also cold, another blunt reminder to Tsume that Toboe was dying. Tsume didn't push the pup away, but instead held him close, letting his own hand brush against Toboe's back, holding him there in case the injured wolf felt weak. Despite his initial surprise, he allowed himself to revel in the bliss of Toboe's kiss. He allowed himself to flick his tongue against Toboe's lips, and allowed himself to relish Toboe's taste as that same tongue explored Toboe's mouth. He heard Toboe groan against his will, and Tsume smiled to himself despite the situation. He—Tsume—was happy. But never mind the happiness. God, how Tsume loved the taste of Toboe's lips. He tasted like marmalade, the perfect mixture of bitter and sweet that both burned and chilled his tongue like the fires of hell and a thousand days of snow. Toboe's lips were perfection, the untouched preservation of good and evil, the complete joy of innocence and the unsatisfied hunger of corruption. Toboe was beautiful. Toboe was everything.

When they finally parted, Tsume still looked in Toboe's lovely golden brown eyes, brushing some stray strands of auburn hair away from the young one's face. Toboe smiled, and began caressing Tsume's cheek again. "You're so beautiful, Tsume," he said. "I love looking at you." Tsume turned away from him at the comment, and Toboe knew that it was the closest he would ever get to a blush. "But," Toboe continued, suddenly lowering his hand, "I can't do this anymore, Tsume. I have to sleep now. I could barely raise my hand to touch you."

Tsume looked slightly alarmed. "No. You can't sleep. I won't let you…you can't, dammit—"

Toboe had put a finger to Tsume's lips, silencing him. "Tsume. We both knew I was going to die, didn't we?" Tsume looked away again, but it was far from a blush. "Tsume, don't look away, not now, I still need you." As Tsume turned back to look at Toboe again, he knew it was true. No matter how long he made Toboe sit there, bundled in his arms, he would still eventually die. The bullet had struck too close to his heart. If Tsume had pried it out earlier, Toboe wouldn't even be sitting there now.

But—dammit!—he didn't want Toboe to die. He wanted Toboe…with him. "I…" Tsume said slowly. "I don't want you to die. That's two deaths on my hands, and I don't want them!"

"You didn't kill me," Toboe said, "And you didn't kill Ghel. They were both accidents beyond your control, situations that you tried to make better. And you did make this one better, Tsume. You made me better. You made me happy. Please, Tsume. I'll be so sad if you still beat yourself up about this when I'm gone."

Tsume shook his head. "You can't die."

Toboe reached up with the last strength he had, and gave Tsume one long, lasting, lingering kiss, before settling comfortably into Tsume's lap, head still nestled into Tsume's chest. "I…I love you Tsume…" Toboe said. Tsume opened his mouth to say something, most likely 'I love you, too, runt,' but Toboe shook his head before he could say anything. "I know how you feel, Tsume, you don't have to tell me. Tsume, just don't forget that I love you, ever…"

"I won't." Tsume said, the lump in his throat returning. Toboe nestled down closer to Tsume, and with all said and done, he smiled and closed his eyes. Tsume didn't stop him; he knew it was right, that it had to happen that way. At least it had been a peaceful death. If anyone had deserved that treatment, Toboe did. _But it's not fair! Hell, me dying would've been better. Damn you Blue, you stupid bitch, and the asshole Quent, too. Damn you both to hell! It's your fault that Toboe's gone…_ He felt the sadness swell inside of him, until he couldn't hold it anymore. He howled. It was a long, sad cry that echoed through the sky that was tinged with light blue as a signal of the coming dawn.

Somewhere in the distance, though Tsume didn't know, Quent laughed as he downed a glass of beer in his apartment, knowing that Toboe was finally dead.

_Why does it have to be this way?_ Tsume still held Toboe in his arms, filled with grief. " _Tsume…_ " the wolf suddenly heard a voice whisper in the wind, " _Tsume…_ "

Tsume looked around, and saw that his surroundings were growing dark. Toboe vanished from his arms, and he wondered what the fuck was going on. He blinked—and when he blinked, opening his eyes, it seemed, he was staring into a pair of golden brown ones. "Tsume, are you okay?" a sweet, familiar, innocent voice asked.

"Toboe?" Tsume said, confused. He sat up, and looked around. There was forest stretching in every direction. The forest they had been in…the day before. The same forest that he had run through before… _in his dream_.

It was all a dream, wasn't it? Tsume was washed with relief. So…Toboe was alive.

But if that was so good, then why did he feel so… incomplete? "Yes, Tsume?" Toboe answered cheerfully and expectantly, like usual. "You were tossing in your sleep." Toboe's demeanor sobered. "I was worried about you."

Tsume stiffened slightly. Toboe…wasn't the same as…He probably didn't even…he sighed. He stood, and walked away, not saying anything to Toboe, Kiba, or Hige. He walked, using his ears and nose to finf a stream, and sat on the banks. Occasionally, he looked back towards the direction he'd come, towards the camp, towards…Toboe. He sighed again, then closed his eyes and pieced together his dream, like the frames of a movie, playing in his head. He sighed for a second time. This wasn't like him at all. But…he still felt awkward, different, like something was missing. "I shouldn't be this bothered by a damn dream." He washed his face with the stream water. But he couldn't get Toboe's eyes, lips or voice out of his head. God, he wanted Toboe so much. The runt was kind of…cute. Well, at least he was alive, so Tsume wouldn't have to go through that strange pain again…

And then he remembered it. The song that Toboe sung in his dream, the song he had memorized. He felt compelled to sing it, as if it would lull his suffering. Maybe that was why the dream-Toboe had sung it. Maybe…it held some connection to the real Toboe? Tsume knew he would never do the song the same justice as Toboe had—or would—but he sung it anyway, his sweet, deep sultry voice making the words flow soft and slow, and sad.

" _How come..._

_I feel sorrow?_

_How come…_

_I feel pain?_

_How come…_

_There's no tomorrow for me?_

_How come…_

_I feel no relieving?_

" _Why…is it so cold?_

_And why… does the darkness keep me?_

_Crying every night_

_Why won't… the dawn come and wake me?_

" _How come…_

_I feel so sad?_

_How come…_

_I'm so alone?_

_How come…_

_My heart aches all the time?_

_How come…_

_I feel like grieving?_

" _Why…is it so cold?_

_And why…am I so melancholy_

_Crying every night_

_Why won't…the dawn come and wake me?_

" _How come…_

_I'm not happy?_

_How come…_

_The light's run away?_

_How come…_

_All have forsaken me?_

_How come…_

_I'm trapped in my memories?_

" _Why…is it so cold?_

_And why…do my nightmares surround me?_

_Crying every night_

_Why won't…the dawn come and wake me?"_

Tsume let the last words of the song die on his lips, and sighed for the third time. Real or not real, that dream had changed him. Toboe had changed him. "Tsume?" Came a confused voice from behind him. Tsume didn't even bother to turn; he knew it was Toboe. "How do you know…that song? I…" Toboe was utterly surprised, but Tsume wasn't. He knew exactly what had to do. He had to do everything he'd refused to do since he'd come to Dome City, years ago. He had to follow his heart, and it was leading him…to Toboe.

"I know, you made it up, right?"

"Yes, I…" Toboe blushed. Tsume guessed he was embarrassed because of the fact that he sang.

"It's a beautiful song, Toboe. I'm glad you came up with it."

Toboe blushed even more. He just got a complement from Tsume. "Have you heard me…sing it at night?"

Tsume pondered for a second how he should answer that question. "Yeah…" he said, and he struggled not to smile. It was nice, having Toboe there, even if was confused…or scared. Maybe he had been too hard on the runt in the past.

Toboe's face was red like a beet, his face getting redder and redder at each passing moment. "You…heard me sing?"

"Your voice is beautiful. You should sing more often."

"I…" Toboe looked around. He wanted to escape somehow. Tsume didn't say many nice things unless he was trying to prank you or something. Toboe didn't know what the elder wolf had planned, but…

Tsume chuckled to himself. "Come here, Toboe," he said softly. Toboe hesitated. What would happen if he did? Then again, it would be the closest he ever consciously stood next to Tsume…he hesitantly walked over. "Sit," Tsume said, and Toboe sat, a fair distance away. "Not there, stupid; I'm not gonna rip your arm off." When Toboe stood to move, Tsume reached up and pulled him down into his lap. Toboe gave a surprised yelp as he waited for something dreadful to happen. "Tsume—"

"Shhh…Hush, Toboe stop being so loud," Tsume said as he absorbed Toboe's warmth. He was warmer than in the dream—but then again, Toboe wasn't dying, and it wasn't raining.

"Tsume, why…?" Tsume looked down at the confused Toboe in his lap. The wind blew slightly, and Toboe's auburn hair floated around his face as this brown eyes met Toboe's golden ones expectantly. Toboe looked almost… angelic, and Tsume decided…to tell him the truth for once.

Tsume smiled, a beautiful sight that even Toboe felt honored to see; he'd probably never see it again. "Because…because I love you, Toboe," he said, feeling like blushing as red as Toboe as he spoke. Of course, he didn't; he had already gone over the top when he pulled Toboe into his lap and even more so by smiling.

"What…?" Toboe said, seeming even more confused.

Tsume rolled his eyes. "I said I love you, stupid." He ruffled Toboe's hair.

"W…why?"

"What do you mean, 'why?'? I love you 'cause I love you. Take it or leave it, runt."

Toboe looked up at Tsume, as if he was trying to figure out a complicated problem. Then, suddenly, Toboe smiled, and threw his arms around Tsume and said happily, "I love you, too, Tsume! You make me happy." Tsume kissed him. And, while he kissed Toboe's surprised yelp away, he realized it.

It wasn't a dream.

 

**Author's Note:**

> EDIT 7/29/10: I've revised this story again for a fourth time (according to commentary below. I've consolidated more paragraphs and corrected more of the grammar and spelling mistakes, because there was a lot that I missed. ^^)
> 
> EDIT: This story has been revised 3 times. I've tried to make the interaction of Tsume with the dream more realistic—with him questioning things at the beginning a bit more than he had been doing before, as well as adding to his interaction with Ghel. I shortened the song, which added like two pages to the overall length, and I also phrased the song as continuous sentences in the interest of space as well. I've consolidated a lot of the paragraphs, because I have a tendency to make them really small according to how I want them read. I also corrected several grammar and spelling mistakes. I think I almost got them all. I'm sure that there's a few that I missed. I still love this story, and although I was really young when I wrote it, I enjoyed reading it.
> 
> ORIGNAL MESSAGE ACCOMPANYING THIS FANFIC: I just had to do a T/T fic. It was calling to me for quite some time. Yes, I am aware that I am hurting several of my VR fans by not updating, but I will soon...I think. But it won't take too long, I promise.
> 
> Oh! I am going to try to email those who review my stories. It's not that I don't want to, I'm just too lazy. I need to get off my ass, I know, I know.
> 
> "I will return, for I am the darkness..."


End file.
